Lost Soul
by GitahMuttan
Summary: He was given another chance, but he can't understand what would he do to be noticed by everyone. He was just a lost soul after all, wondering if his infinite depression will end.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: A little note... This story is my first Angel Beats fanfic because of me getting addicted to it... Having a major hangover after the series... And... I don't know... Please do enjoy this story of mine... This will be told on 1st person because of certain reasons that I will reveal after the end of the prologue. And I'm a huge Yui fan! XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Angel Beats, if I did, Yui didn't disappeared on episode ten, she will on 13...**

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><p><strong>Yuzuru<strong>

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><p>"KANADE!"<p>

That was the last words that I had released in my mouth this day. She had disappeared, I can't believe what had happened. I thought that everything would be alright until she revealed everything to me. We have the same heart... We can't be together... We will going to fight fate itself if we wanted to be together. I can feel my eyes getting watery again but I had just pulled those tears back in.

Now, I am sitting inside the principal's office, which wasn't guarded by deadly traps anymore. I looked around just to spot every memory that my friends had left to me. Some of their things are still lying around the little room. I don't know what to do now. I know that I had promised to myself that I'm going to help people like me who haven't accept death… But now, knowing that Kanade and I shared the same heart… I don't know what to do now. I'm so confused…

"_Do you really want to see Kanade again?"_ A random voice appeared from nowhere. I can't see where it came from but I'm sure that I'm not hallucinating because everything seems true.

"Y-Y-Yes!" I answered without hesitation and stood up from my seat. My eyes are burning from anticipation right now. I want to see Kanade so badly! I looked around to look for the mysterious voice but to no avail. I became more nervous as the mysterious voice spoke again.

"_Then I'll give you another chance…" _

Just right before my mouth open, my surroundings became white. All of the things inside the office went away. It is now me myself inside the empty room, which is tinted white right before my eyes. I looked around, trying to spot the mysterious voice. I just can't spot him. I looked from behind only to spot the same colored non-ending white room. Until…

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

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><p><strong>Lost Soul<strong>

**-Prologue-**

**Alive**

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><p>I quickly opened my eyes. Pretending that everything was only a weird dream… That when I stood up from my sleeping position, I'll see Kanade again, smiling brightly at me and waiting for me to dive into her arms. I stood up and dusted myself, looking around for any presence. My prediction wasn't true. There were no Kanade... There weren't any presence as the atmosphere became tense. I can feel myself being all shaky. I don't know why as I started to look around for any way for me to escape this dark alleyway. My eyes adjusted through the darkness as I can already see some dark walls and an alleyway that I seem to remember so vaguely. I continued to look around the little road just to see a train that is so mashed up that it seemed that anyone can't survive if they are in it when it crashed. Everything went back in to me in an instant just when I saw the mashed up train. My eyes widen because of the realization.<p>

This is that alleyway…

Where did I die…

I began to panic because I can still remember everyone that I had spent time with in the afterlife, it means that I still have my memories. It means that everything is true. There weren't any lies about the things that they are saying to me. I continue to search around because I can still remember that I am not alone when I died here. I have some friends who had accompanied me within seven days. My body continued to shake involuntarily because of the high tension that I'm feeling right now. I later had recognized that I'm not wearing my SSS uniform anymore. I am wearing a casual polo shirt with red stripes. I can also see a bag attached on my back. I didn't remember that I had wore this clothes.

I don't know what had happened…

I'm still alive?

I lifted up my shirt for me to search if I still have the internal bleeding that I had before my consciousness was taken away but to no avail, I can't see it anymore! My eyes widened in amazement as I continued to tap that certain part of my body. The swelling really went away! This is a miracle, I don't know what had happened to it. I 'll just sweep that thought and just continue to search

I continued to search around the alleyway, I got a flashlight from my backpack. My feet continued to shiver as I walked slowly towards the opposite way that the train is facing. My feet stopped its involuntary movements as I spotted the light emitted by the exit of the train tunnel. I smiled as I quickly ran towards that direction.

"Light, finally!"

So, does it mean that everyone had been rescued? I don't really know what had happened right after I lost consciousness.

I immediately ran after that certain reflection that I saw passing through the tunnel. I stopped immediately as inertia took over as I slip through the train tracks before I stopped completely. I smelled the good savor of air hitting me directly as the railway is a windy spot. I smiled as I can feel again what can a person feel. A normal and alive person at least. My smile quickly disappear as I remember what do I really want...

"Kanade."

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><p>I don't know how did I came back to the living environment as my body moved by itself as the time I remembered that I want to see Kanade again. Another problem will arise as the thought struck me. I can't see Kanade that easily in this big city! I don't even know her and I don't know where does she live. I began to walk aimlessly in the memory road as memories flashed back on my mind in every street that I had passed through. I saw the construction site which was still incomplete even though a lot of time had passed already. I saw a new worker that had replaced my past job.<p>

I disregarded the scene as I continue my venture to find Kanade. I crossed the road carefully, I don't want to be killed for the second time. I laughed slightly because of the thought being killed for the second time. As I finished crossing the road. I smiled in contentment and continued to walk through the seemed to be endless road. I had mixed myself through the huge population of the city.

I continued to walk aimlessly through the streets of the city, still having the same aim...

Find Kanade.

My pace became a little faster because of my body told me to do so. I continued to walk through the endless street until I noticed someone who is resting her back on the wall, wearing a hat while her silver hair laid freely on her back, she is reading something on her mobile. I can hear her hum a song, it is "My Song" by Iwasawa! I'm not being mistaken! I know that song! I can still remember that song being hummed by Kanade when she was walking with us for the commencement exercises. As I passed her, My eyes widened as the realization had hit me.

"She is Kanade..."

I quickly turned around just to see her walking away right after flipping her phone close. I quickly walked back towards her direction, aiming for me to touch her. At last, I'm going to be with Kanade. I never had thought that it would be this fast. God is grateful to me this time. As I caught up with her I raised my left arm for me to touch her shoulder. Just right my hands had contact with her shoulder, the unexpected happened. It didn't had contact with her shoulder! My hand passed through her shoulder! Just like I'm didn't exist! Just like I'm an open space.

I could only stood in place, dumbfounded because of the sudden thing that had happened to me. She turned around which made he sigh in happiness. Maybe it is just a hallucination of mine. I smiled brightly towards her and said:

"Kanade!"

She didn't responded as she continued to look around, she is looking for the one who had held her shoulder! I can't believe what had happened! I am not hallucinating. There are no jokes! I really can't touch her. Kanade touched her chest as she seemed to remember something. She looked left, then right. She looked back towards the direction that she is currently going to. Her walking became a run as she crossed the road while running, good thing that it is a red light.

I quickly followed her by running from her behind. Just right before I can cross the street completely, the light became green again. I stopped on my tracks dead on. All that I can do is shield myself with my arms as I can see the cars speeding on my way. I could only sigh in despair because my second chance will going to end right here, right now...

"I'm sorry Kanade."

I braced myself for impact but there really aren't anything that had happened. All of the cars had passed through me, without having impact, it was not making my body ache. I stood there, still shocked because of the sudden realization.

"I get it now why I can't touch Kanade..."

"I get it now why I didn't die when the cars had made contact with me..."

"It's because that I'm a lost soul... wandering around the city... a soul that wants to talk with the love of his life..."

I stood in the middle of the road... I don't really mind because the cars won't make any contact with me. My eyes became all watery again. I had let them flow freely down my face. No, this can't be happening. I can't believe that a soul can be lost in the real world.

A thought struck through my mind as the tears continued to flow down. Will I able to see everyone having fun? I will be happy if I will see everyone having their life and enjoying it. I can still remember the bad pasts that they had. I think that's the only thing that I can do.

"All that I can do is make sure that everyone will get over their regrets on their past lives..."

"I'll have to find them..."

"That's all that I can do..."

**Otonashi, concluding that he wasn't having a body to live in in the first place. Wanders around the city, the one who wanted to see Kanade so badly. He saw her, but didn't had the chance to talk to her...**

**All that he can do is look for his other friends to see if they had fulfilled their dreams... If not, help them to do so...**

**Stay Tuned**

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><p><strong>AN: Sorry if the prologue is short. But I think that prologues are meant to be short. I don't know... Haha! But expect a longer chapter after this one. Oh, the story is told in the First person PoV because I don't want to spill the feeling that Kanade is feeling right now.**

**Review? **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: **Whew. Long time no see readers. (if there are some) I'm very sorry for being inactive in this site for almost 3 months already. I can't stop myself from watching new series and my schoolwork wasn't helping too. Being a third year in my school was much harder than the higher levels believe it or not. Oh well, enough reasoning here. I would give you a chapter of this (almost) forgotten fanfiction. Please buckle up and enjoy the ri- I mean, the story.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Angel Beats! If I did, the series was already published as a VN.

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><p>"All that I can do is make sure that everyone will get over their regrets on their past lives..."<p>

"I'll have to find them..."

"That's all that I can do..."

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><p><strong>Lost Soul<strong>

**Chapter II**

**The Soul Wanderer**

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><p>After those words left my mouth, I immediately lent my head back down. Thinking that it would be quite impossible for me to find everyone with this situation of mine. I smashed the asphalt road hardly, but to no avail because my shaking fists had only passed through the blackish road as I tear up in despair. The speeding vehicles continue to ran onto me, but there wasn't any reaction being produced within the cars and my body.<p>

Everything wasn't still clear about the situation I was in. Every single thing that had happened before I went back here in the real world was still as dim as a sandstorm. I stood up with shaking legs and began walking back to the sidewalks. Even though I already knew that I can move through objects, I was still wasn't used to walk in the middle of the road.

A thought went straightly through my obscured mind. Maybe, in this place, my little sister is still alive! What if I travelled back in time! What if Hatsune was still lying there in the hospital? Those are the things that flowed repeatedly inside my brain.

My walk was soon became a jog then to a run as I scurried all over the gleaming streets. The sun had already set before I knew it and beautiful lights was already hovering the city in a fashionable manner. The current place was still clear on my mind so going to the hospital wouldn't be the problem.

My vision started to blur because of raindrops that was starting to fall from the sky. It seems that the sky is giving sympathy for my depression. I just hope that this wasn't bad of a sign. I hope that this wasn't a sign of bad luck. The hospital was only some meters away. I can see the hospital for quite a bit from here. I increased the speed of my running as my legs were put to the test.

I panted heavily as I reached the front of the hospital. The place was… quiet. The cars that are parked in the lots provided for their convenience was decreased. The people who usually stroll near the huge building were gone too. Maybe, they were sheltering themselves from the upcoming pour down of rain. That excuse was considered valid by me. But still…

I quickened my pace once more and ran through the huge front doors of the hospital. The thing that I can walk through walls was used in the process. I went through each body of the nurses, doctors and civilians who was passing by the quiet hallway. The muttering sound of their voices was the only thing that breaks the silent atmosphere.

My legs were already giving up because of the force that I was applying through them. My respiratory system was starting to give up too. My breathing was now fast as of a baby's. I exerted every single drop of my strength just to run through stairs and hallways. My hard work was quickly paid when I reached the door of Hatsune's room. Every single part of my body was put on rest. Making myself more comfortable for the moment. The only thing that I can think of for the time being was making sure that my little sister was inside there, waiting for me to give her some mangas to read. I would be happy to see her laying down there, waiting for her brother…

My hands moved on its own and was slowly placed on the doorknob, only to come up with it passing through the slightly rusting metal. I was shocked once more. I couldn't understand why I can pass through almost everything. It would be ridiculous for me to believe that I am a ghost. I don't believe on those things in the first place.

I ignored the battle that was commencing within my mind and walked through the door. Praying all throughout for my sister to be there. My eyes was shut closed when I completely entered the room. It was soon opened by instinct and the unexpected truth was revealed. My sister wasn't there…

The room was an empty compartment. Without any remnants of the people who stayed here at least. I was pretty sure that this is the room that my sister resided for years. My legs had already given up with all this physical and mental fatigue. I can't believe that my sister wasn't in the hospital in this world. Kanade can't see me too. And the worst thing that I can't understand was me passing through almost anything.

My eyes started to water as thunder rang through the silent hospital room. The rain had already fallen from the sky. Now, it really felt that it was giving its pity onto me. The truth of sadness and depression took over as I broke down and cried.

"W-Why did this happen!" I screamed, punching the floor hard. Even though my fists wouldn't hit the floor, it would rather pass through them and did no impact.

"Why is everything so different!"

"Why Kanade can't see me? And everyone couldn't too?"

"Why! Why are you doing this to me God!"

I screamed all of my feelings through my mouth with the roar of thunder which are giving more effect onto my sorrow. Now that I feel all hoarse and thirsty, my sadness was slightly decreased. I had calmed down and stopped punching the unhittable hospital floor. I lay down for some seconds to let every part of my body to rest for some moments of time. My little rest was completely destroyed when another thought stroked my mind. If my sister wasn't here… It means that she was…

I ran through the wetly covered road and was completely determined to reach my destination. The loud roars of thunder and a strong pour down of rain refrained my tears from being visible and completed the depressed atmosphere. My feet were once again put to the test with me running back to the direction I was running in moments ago. I would go to the cemetery. That's the only place to confirm if Hatsune was already dead…

My feet were starting to weaken once again as I came closer onto my destination. The earlier workout wasn't a good practice for this longer run. All of my emotional and physical depression came to back to me in an instant. My negative point of view wasn't helping too. Who would have thought that I can bypass this kind of emotional crisis. The notable thing that had changed within my being was my running speed. It was decreased by half because of the maximum fatigue I'm experiencing. If you're going to ask me, it seems that even my adrenaline was already used up during the process of running towards the hospital. I began to beg for strength from above. Even though I'm pretty sure that there wouldn't be any answer.

My half decreased speed was minimized once more as I felt my knees wriggle in a continuous manner. the hoarse sound of my breathing was clearly heard in chorus with the thunderbolt and lightning. My eyelids was closed halfway because of my energy being drained. I began to notice that my body was being numb, coming after the numbness of my emotions was my body.

'Everything would be alright.' That was the set of words that was processed through my numb mind. I continued to say those words mentally, in chorus with the decreasing speed of my running. When I spotted the cemetery that was completely covered with fog, my eyes widened in fulfillment. But, after the glimpse that I had, I completely fell down to the ground, leaving no sound. There wasn't any smoke that had covered my proximity also. My body had already given up. Joining forces with my emotion, they are undefeatable!

Moments that I had before I went through here played back on my mind. The time when I woke up in the rail tracks, the time when I attempted to touch Kanade's shoulder, the moment I saw the empty hospital room. It played in a melancholic way as my head began to hurt. With those bitter memories playing back on my mind, was a set of those lines that I said before.

That I need to find them...

All of them...

Maybe I can get an answer if I can find them...

Of course! Why am I already giving up? Am I this weak?

I felt a torrent of energy flowed through my whole body system as I slowly gained control and stood up. My feet weren't numb at all as I dashed through the entrance of the cemetery, I passed through lots of graves just to search for the place that I remember. The place they buried Hatsune's body. Maybe if I can see that, it would be clear to me that I have no chance of being my sister in this world. This had hurt my heart for a moment or two, but the determination building up throughout my body won't let itself lose!

When I nearly arrived at the grave stone, I spotted someone who was wearing a raincoat, looking at the place that supposedly be my sister's grave. My athletic run was terminated when I came close, about a meter to the young girl. I could determine that the human was a woman because of her hair illuminating through thunder and lightning. But I can't identify its color. When I came closer and closer to the girl, my eyes went wide open, with two information being processed through my mind, I can't take them both in at once.

Why are there two gravestones?

And the most shocking part was...

It's her... standing mournfully in front of the graves, and obviously crying even though the rain was covering her up.

"I-I-I" Lost of words.

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><p><strong>AN: **There, done with the chapter. I was planning to update lots of stories within this week like Chapter 4 of Upside Down, Chapter 9 of UL (both weren't updated for a long time! I was surprised that UL got 5000 hits!), Chapter 3 of ATT, and Chapter 4 of To A New Path. Even though I don't know when they will come up, I'll do my best to update them all. (Main priority is ATT chapter 3).

Oh, one more thing. Please do help me by requesting an anime in . If you know the anime R-15, I had written a story about the said anime and my problem is FFN wasn't hearing my request. So, if you were very kind, please do help me.

Thanks and enjoy the rest of your day!


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